


What Hurts the Most

by bobasheebaby



Series: Learning to Breathe [10]
Category: The Royal Romance (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:27:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25143883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobasheebaby/pseuds/bobasheebaby
Summary: Liam pays Riley a visit.
Relationships: Drake Walker & Main Character (The Royal Romance), Past Relationships - Relationship
Series: Learning to Breathe [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1443151
Kudos: 5





	What Hurts the Most

**Author's Note:**

> Song inspiration: What Hurts the Most (State of Mine version)

Liam idly tapped the wrapped package as he waited to see if Riley would be willing to speak to him. It was a full month since she’d given birth, their friends hadn’t even told him that the baby was born, he learned from the brief announcement like the rest of the country. He didn't have a name, all he knew was Riley had a boy, his weight and length and that they were both healthy.

He nearly called her a dozen times since he learned of her child’s birth, each time stopping short of pushing ‘call’.

It felt weird to him that he was the last of the friends to hear, that he hadn’t even met the baby, _hopefully that will all change today._ All the conversations with Drake over the years they had agreed that they would be the first to know, the child’s uncle and godfather, of course, earned that right. Now he was … well he wasn’t sure if Riley would even see him, he probably wouldn’t even get a glimpse of Drake’s child until she officially released a photograph.

How far he’d fallen, from best friend to nothing.

He couldn’t fault her, he no longer deserved the title he’d held most of his life. A best friend wouldn’t stand and watch as someone killed their friend. A best friend would have thrown themselves in front of a bullet much in the way Drake had for Riley.

In the beginning he had tried to reason that since Drake had willingly taken a bullet for her before that he had made the correct choice. Was he just fooling himself, was he merely trying to erase a guilty conscience? Was it truly better that Drake’s child, Drake's son, grew up without his father because of his own selfishness. _I should have told him to kill me, spare them both and take me instead._

He shook his head, he knew even if he had thrown himself in front of the gun that Anton would never kill him. Anton wanted to watch him suffer.

And he had suffered, for the last nine months he had suffered alone in silence. He had to stay strong, ever the stoic king, but inside he was completely shattered, he wasn’t even sure that her forgiveness would fully heal him. He would forever carry the guilt that not only had he been the reason his best friend had died but a son grew up without a father and the woman he loves became a widow.

Liam stood, his eyes wide in surprise as he watched her descend the stairs. _She came._ He gulped, unsure what to make of her agreeing to speak to him.

He had hoped, but he was nearly positive that she would have sent him packing unseen.

His eyes snapped to the monitor in her hand he hadn’t noticed until the instant a loud cry broke through.

Riley turned with a sigh, “Bas, I hate to ask,” her eyes drifted to his injured leg, “but could you get him for me?”

Bastien glanced between Liam and Riley, clearly concerned for her safety. Liam felt like the world shattered all over again, how was it possible that now he had become the threat?

“I won’t be long,” Riley glanced over her shoulder, “send Hana if I’m not back in ten minutes.”

Liam watched the exchange in shock. _When did they get close?_

Bastien took the monitor from Riley with a nod before turning to retreat up the stairs.

Riley turned back to him, her head held high, though he could see she was struggling to contain her anger as she continued down the last few steps. “What brings you by today, Your Majesty?”

Liam flinched at the bite in her tone. True their last few conversations hadn’t been pleasant, but he could still remember when she spoke to him with what he could only describe as affection in her voice. “I came by to personally extend my well wishes to you after the birth of your son.”

Riley arched her brow in a way that reminded him purely of Olivia. _When did she learn that? Has she only been shutting me out?_ He could still remember a time when Riley and Olivia could barely remain civil and now she was doing her best impersonation of her. “Why are you really here?”

Liam felt as though he was punched in the face. He felt like a stranger who no longer knew any of his friends, and maybe he was. He was hurt, wounded. The way she spoke to him like he was nothing. “When did you and Bastien become so close?”

“Excuse me?”

He stepped forward, fueled by a mixture of pain, regret, adrenaline, and fear. “I thought you were heartbroken about Drake, didn’t seem so heartbroken a minute ago.”

“I _am_ heartbroken about Drake, and you don’t have the right to come in here and judge me and my life!” Riley stepped closer, “I have worked hard to try to piece my life back together after you told that psychopath to kill my husband! It’s been hard, but I’m slowly figuring out how to live without Drake.

The only reason I’m standing here today instead of crying in my bed like I did for months is because of my friends, my family.

So how about you worry less about how close I am to my guard and friend and start worrying about finding the man who murdered my husband!”

Riley laughed at the stunned expression on Liam’s face, “what, did you think somehow I’d go back to you? After you played a part in me becoming completely broken?”

Liam swallowed, deep down maybe he’d hoped.

“Oh my god! You did! Well guess what, I will piece myself together, perhaps I will even move on, but it will never be with you.

How could you even think that we are a possibility when all I ever see when I look at you is the man that sentenced my husband to death.

You may not have been his executioner, but you are the one who signed his death warrant.

You are the reason that I still wake in a cold sweat whenever I dream of that day.

That day was supposed to be my happiest, and you made it one of the worst days of my life.

You broke me in more ways than I ever thought possible, but I’m trying to prove to myself that I am strong enough, that I can prevail on my own no matter how much it hurts.

So no, while someday I may be able to give you forgiveness, I will never be able to grant you my heart.” She wiped at her cheeks, unwilling to allow him to even see her so raw and broken again.

“Now, tell me why you really came here or get the hell out!”

She glanced at the stairs, probably waiting for someone to come because of her shouting, Liam thought.

Liam faltered, never before had he felt so unsure of his words. He always prided himself on being able to answer any question without losing his composure, and yet here he stood at a complete loss for words.

He felt guilty for bringing up how close she seemed to have grown with Bastien. He knew it had been hard for her, yet she had the support of friends while he tried to move on with scotch as his only comfort.

He’d nearly broken and told her when she mentioned Anton, but if she knew he had kept his capture from her for months that she would only go off in another fiery rage. The truth could wait, now he needed to try to smooth things over the best he was able.

He cleared his throat, “I found this,” he held out the wrapped package, “and thought that your son might enjoy it.”

Riley carefully eyed him before finally accepting the wrapped parcel. “What is it?” Her finger tapped the blue paper and he couldn’t help but notice that her nails were dull and short as though she’d bitten them. He still remembered when her nails were perfectly manicured and topped with a glossy finish.

He finally allowed himself to take in her appearance. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun and lacked its usual luster. She had purple bags beneath her eyes that no longer shone as brightly as they once had. He could tell that even with help that caring for Drake’s child alone was taking its toll on her.

“Please, just open it.” He knew he overstepped, he knew it the second the words escaped his lips. It’s was far too late to fix it, to fix any of the damage he’d caused, his only hope now was to show that he had good intentions even.

He hadn’t even fully allowed himself to process her words yet, though they echoed clearly in the back of his mind: I will piece myself together, perhaps I will even move on, but it will never be with you. Never be with you, those words stung but he couldn’t allow the pain to penetrate his protective barrier.

Now wasn't the time for him to once again lose his cool, he needed to show her he was capable of letting go of all his hopes and dreams no matter how much it made his chest ache. He needed to let her see that he heard her and understood and put her own well-being above his own. God it hurt to know she could never be his, but she was more important than his own selfish needs.

Riley’s brow furrowed as she gave him a questioning look. He was damn lucky she hadn’t already thrown him out after his unwarranted interest in her life. You broke me, you don’t get a say in what my life looks like as I move on.

Liam sighed, “it’s a book, it was Drake’s.” I know it doesn’t make up for things, I’m sorry, please stop shutting me out. “It was Drake’s favorite book when we were kids. He was a bit embarrassed by it, not sure if he told you. But I know he would have shared it with his son.”

He nervously swallowed as her glare somehow became more pronounced, her meaning was clear: he would have if you hadn’t killed him.

He fought the urge to shake his head, none of this was going the way he had hoped. He knew she still hated him, and he’d only made things worse, but he was hoping that this gesture would show her just how sorry he was.

“It was his favorite Greek myth, there was something about Atlas’s story that just seemed to resonate with him.”

“A-atlas?” Riley’s heart pounded in her chest at the name. There was no way Liam could possibly know her son’s name, she didn’t release it to Ana DeLuca or any other member of the press.

It was possible one of her friends could have mentioned it, but after the silent treatment she’d given Maxwell when he’d let it slip she was pregnant she was sure they were more careful when speaking to him.

He keeps saying ‘son’ if he knew Atlas’s name he would use it. Her fingers trembled as she tore at the sky blue paper. Slowly the cover was revealed. Atlas: the Boy who Held the World.

Riley struggled to breathe, it felt as though all the air had been forced from her lungs leaving her nearly gasping for air.

“Riley, are you okay?” Liam asked, gently laying his hand on her arm.

Her eyes flashed as she wrenched her arm free from his touch, a sudden rage fueling her. “Who told you?” She demanded holding up the old worn book as emphasis.

“Told me what?” Liam was reeling, while he’d hoped for a pleasant interaction he wasn’t expecting it. He never expected to watch her nearly break before turning back to hatred. “I don’t understand what you mean Riley.”

“Who. Told. You. His. Name.” She spoke slowly, pausing after each word emphasizing her anger towards Liam.

Liam gaped at Riley unsure what could have caused such an extreme reaction. He caught a flash of the book’s cover out of the corner of his eye, his name. She wanted to know who told me his name.

He took a step back as it clicked. “Y—you named him Atlas?”

“I did, not that it’s any concern of yours. If that is all you wanted you can see yourself out.”

His eyes darted towards the stairs, surely it’d been ten minutes already. He wasn’t sure if she’d requested Hana for his sake or hers.

His heart ached, begged for him to reach out for her. “I wish you and Atlas all the best.” Even if it will never be with me.


End file.
